Corvette Z06 for sale…”if you give a shit”

Perfectly terrible '03 Z06

This ad on Craigslist for a 2003 Corvette Z06 is great (go here if the ad disappears). It’s about as honest I think as an ad can get.

Some of the highlights in the words of the seller…

It starts off brilliantly… “Are you a dumbass? Does the prospect of fixing pre-bankruptcy GM crap excite you to no end? We both know the answer to both questions, and that’s “yes.”” And it ends as brilliantly… “I’m asking $14,000. Yes, the car is cheap. Did you just read all of the above? It’s cheap for a reason. …Once again, if you’re smart, you’ll have read all of this and decided that you should go look at a different car.

That’s good. Get lost and continue making good decisions in your life.”

For the rest of you, I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

And there are gems throughout.

  • Boy howdy, are there lots of problems with this car. When I go online to Google fixes for this car, what boggles my mind is how numerous and widespread the issues are, and most incredulously, the sheer acceptance of all these issues plaguing Corvettes reminds me of how Audi fanboys insist that their cars are reliable even while the interiors of their cars are lit by the warm glow of check engine lights.”
  • “Head was serviced by no one other than Danny Popp. Car was also corner balanced, if you give a shit.
  • Car has single adjustable Koni Yellows on all four corners. One of them was installed with the adjustment window facing the wrong way, so you can’t adjust rebound while the car’s on the ground. You can easily flip it around, if you give a shit.”
  • “Car leaks water like a motherfucker… And here I was assuming that a watertight cabin was a fundamental engineering requirement for building a car. Stupid me.”
  • “Crank pullies are advanced technology, you see, which is why it’s a weak point and all C5 Corvettes eventually need theirs replaced. Fuckin’ hell.”
  • “And if your luck is shit and it’s not the torque tube, it’s probably the diff. Have fun!”

Someone, please buy this car.